A Gay Man’s Struggle: Original Poetry…”Why DL”(Cont.)

They tried to debate…which man is more of a man…

“Girrl you let him get yo boogina?!? No shade girl, but imma need you to not be looking at me like that, cuz how I is, is how I was and how I will always be… OOKKKK!!!”

Vs

“naw JO, I don get down lik dat… naw dude, I don hug dudes cuz our stuff might touch and dat stuff is gay, no homo.”

Effeminacy in men vs behavior of the down-low male “trapped in the closet” ….

Two forms greeting difference at life’s doorstep. Stepping to the beat of that fem boy that tries to walk through life like he is walking down the catwalk, yearning to be a cheerleader, while he played with little kenboy dolls, not liking to get his hands dirty and hated playing kickball. That katkatkatkatkatkat oooowww vougining queen with a twist of extra sugar

they tried to debate who is more of a man. Because there is a very different style of male that has the very same thoughts and sexual preference, but he’s straight? right?

The DL man, having to prove his masculinity every second of everyday, having to grab his crouch so tight that his 3XL Roca Wear Jeans position themselves twenty inches beneath both butt cheeks. The Internal thoughts of a 35 year old male, 20 years into being DL, married with kids and he hides his true desires, because his daddy told him that all fags go to hell…and he told his son the same.

And some cringe when they hear their high pitched voices speaking out in individuality. In a world invested in apeing heterosexual-identities. Idolizing hyper-masculinity, causing DL to hide the truth from their family, causing feminine dudes to be ostracized within our community. as mothers frown at the thought of tolerance and fathers yell at their sons that its not natural.

SO, Who…is more of a man…

Those who accept who they are, or those who hide in the shadows. Because Shadows KILL…

Kill those DL men who were born with the same thoughts, but their voice was deep and their wrist stayed straight, their mannerism were manly, and they could pass for being trade, putting on this facade and on the inside hypocrisy was manifesting in rooms under dimmed lights and closed closet doors shut tight like, those DL men, that spread aids to our women, give claps to dozens but we’re holding the applause.

Because this feminine vs masculine spectrum is only a debate because people looked down on all those who came out the closet…its only a debate because society chose to look down on all those who chose to accept who they were…different religions judging them away, instead of loving them closer, hearing echoes of people yelling obscenities down long hallways, like “fag” and “sissy” like people don’t have feelings…necause whether your a “go-girl” snaping in Z-formation or no-homo-jo attempting to escalate your constipation

…Feminine men, are still cursed for their mannerism and DL men cursed after creating a new generation of false masculinity…a generation that is living in a reality has been bashed by bigotry…everyone needs freedom to discover themselves and find their own identity…