Dear Governor Paterson,
I was sad to see Spitzer go, but I was still excited about you in office. I didn’t know much about you, but I have to admit the black and blind thing made you kind of interesting. My thoughts–a man with that much handicap must be good or at least have some progressive ideas. Spitzer had ideas too, some that could have helped us avert the whole crazy Wall Street thing, but he also had hos. And we all know, hookers and politics don’t mix well.
So alas, it was your turn. And I was desperate for you to prove yourself. Even said “ha” to all the naysayers when you and your wife emerged to admit to extramarital affairs. Can’t get ‘em now, I said as I was dumb to think the only things tripping up politicians were camera women and interns. Anyway, a blind black man and his cheating wife. This is gonna be good and for a short time–it was. You scored major points with your support of stem cell research and I heard gay people weeping when you proposed a gay marriage bill. You were hitting all the right buttons and then you started slipping. Getting crushed actually, by that big ass budget deficit. So you thought, let’s just charge four percent on everything from music downloads to sleeping outside (camping). Of course, there was the 18% soda tax aka the “obesity tax” that has yet to be approved.
And right when things were at an all time low, Obama rolls into town and doesn’t so much as wink your way. And you know that was hard. When the President of the United States, the first brotha in office can’t even muster enough energy to give you a pound. Even then, I figured Obama was too weighed down in his own legislative drama to pay you much mind–nothing personal. He needed some good democrats to get things moving and lets face it, this was your one shot because 2010 would not be kind to you.
So here we are, months later and you have seriously blown your cover as a respectable politician. Just when I was thinking you deserve to be Governor you go and show yourself to be New York’s version of Roland Burris. I typically think politicians do stupid things and mostly because they are greedy, horny, and/or power hungry but I still can’t for the life of me figure out how you in any conscience called a domestic violence victim to discuss her “options.” That’s a serious no-no Kwame, I mean David. And to think you actually persuaded two women to join in. Way to go.
I am sure my opinion means little to you, but you gotta go. Don’t even wait until the end. Just walk away. Generally, I find most transgressions to be personal. The John Edwards baby mama drama is personal. The Bill Clinton intern thing is a little personal. But using the system, the state police, other politicians to intimidate a citizen is way over the line and if anyone tells you different…well they must be another desperate politician or a really close friend. Just you know, anytime you have to run to Harlem for a secret meeting in a soul food restaurant, things ain’t going so well.
You are no different from the Kilpatricks of the world. You should have known once the Mayor of Baltimore got in trouble for stealing Best Buy gift cards, your chances of getting away with this were nil. So sorry it had to end this way. Please pack your things.