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D.R.O.P. Squad

In the 1994 movie DROP Squad, an underground militant organization spots Black Americans who have sold out, exploited or otherwise turned their backs on their race and then puts them through a rigorous D.R.O.P. (Deprogramming and Restoration of Pride). Every time I watch Bruford Jamison Jr. get dropped, I wonder who among us deserves to be plucked away and reprogrammed.

You see, Bruford got his because he worked for an ad agency that seemed to specialize in racist ads like the one above, selling chicken and liquor. While the DROP Squad tended more toward abuse than education, the idea is in the right place. If you could D.R.O.P. anyone, who would it be and why? I have a short list of people I’d like to see deprogrammed.

First, John McWhorter for his condescending air. He studies Black culture and attempts to describe it to the rest of the world but does so in a way that pushes himself right onto that Magical Negro pedestal. And while the self-proclaimed “Race Man” sits on top of his throne, he drops jewels like this: “Many writers and thinkers see a kind of informed political engagement, even a revolutionary potential, in rap and hip-hop. They couldn’t be more wrong. By reinforcing the stereotypes that long hindered blacks, and by teaching young blacks that a thuggish adversarial stance is the properly “authentic” response to a presumptively racist society, rap retards black success.”

Next, Alan Keyes whose views could make John McWhorter look like Marcus Garvey. Keyes gladly attempted to play the part of the Republican wringer in 2004 when he ran against Barack Obama for Senate. He claimed that Barack Obama is “an evil man” that “needs to be stopped”. During Obama’s presidential campaign, Keyes parroted the views of his Republican counterparts, calling Obama a socialist and a liar. Not only are Keyes’s views on race questionable, he allegedly disowned his own daughter because she came out as a lesbian.

Up 3rd, LeBron James who, after dodging every other race-laced bullet shot his way, including that bogus ass Vogue cover, has claimed that racism played a part in some of the backlash he received after “LeDecision”. Sure the American public and its racial bias played a part in his sharp drop in popularity but he failed to take into account a few things. First, you can’t just cite racial discrimination when you want to get out of a tough spot. That my friend is called playing the race card. Secondly, even Black people guffawed at LeDecision. Perhaps the backlash stems more from your jackassness than your Blackness.

Lastly, Waka Flaka Flame. For real son? Just come on.

Who would you send the DROP Squad after and why?