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I Don’t Love Her, I Love You

The black teenage male’s love life is conflicted with the fear of nothingness and a damaged sense of reaction. We will love you with the energy of Flava Flav and at the same time share your spot in the bed with someone else. Love is not a joke in this scenario, in fact, it is the purest situation of love; just happening with unfortunate immaturity. Some brothers will never understand that love breathes from faith and letting go of all possessions.

A romantic relationship for a young black male is the first event involving his choice and therefore his soul. Family is dealt to him, education enforced, clothing bought, even his name is not his.  The creation of a love life describes the process of recognizing and establishing self: are we jealous, do we like girls, are we creative with gifts, etc. Much of who we are comes to be comprehended in relation to a soul mate, the person that we experience building a romantic soul with. It’s impossible to be in a relationship without losing ourselves because we’re contributing it to a second self, that’s different from the one we are in the individualistic world, different from the one we have to be. Romantic love is adoring the opportunity to be who we chose to be, without harsh criticism. It’s a high because our soul mate gets entertained by our unique gestures alone and that reality is purely ours…

But the end of a relationship is an ultimate lost of self for a black teenager. Not being able to satisfy our parent’s standards, as most of us aren’t going to college or never succeeded in school and the constant reminder of our fate in jail of buried, the last thing we have is what we’ve made with our bare soul. Unfortunately if we can’t have anything, there’s always the option of possessing pain. A fleeing soul mate leaves wounds and those take too long to heal. Cheating is a dysfunction that works instantly and shortly. As I said, the soul mate sees us in a way that no one else can, our romantic self. Out of anger, we make our soul mate’s second self less special when we allow for someone else to have it. Think of sex, it reveals the body-which at first, only the person it belongs to and their parents have seen in full scope. Even less dramatic, we take our soul mate’s exclusive roles: confidant, companion, etc. and offer anyone. Just as we are hurting from losing our romantic self, the one we created naturally, their self will be damaged also. Never forget that the black man is so in love, that the emotions intensify unhealthily in feeling that love escapes us beyond our control. We are destructive in the sake of love, which is a freedom of the heart, a freedom of self.

I’m not saying that this is right. I just thought that everyone wanted to know possible reasons why this contradiction keeps happening. It is possible to love someone and cheat. Some of us will cheat on you and once you leave, will try control your next choice- if there will be a choice. Most of us are so possessive because within our short lives we will posses nothing. Please tell me what you think; let’s start up discussions as to how we can nurse black love back to health.


m4s0n501