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Politics and Playa Hatas: The Windy City Edition

“All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players”- William Shakespeare. Shakespeare couldn’t even begin to imagine all the actors, players, and player-haters that are all trying to upstage each other in the 2011 Chicago Mayoral Election. Unlike the show “The Game”, the script for this epic political race seems to get better with each episode. From Rahm Emanuel’s residency issues to Carol Moseley Braun calling Patricia Van Pelt Watkins a crack-head in church, the Chicago mayoral race has had more drama than a Tyler Perry film. A few weeks away from the race and some people are already saying that Carol Moseley Braun can write an autobiography entitled Diary of a Mad Black Woman. Rahm Emanuel was briefly taken off of the ballot because of his “House of Payne”.

Tyler Perry could add to his empire and save money by just following the candidates on the campaign trail. There may be no Mary J. Blige guest appearances or crazy outbursts by Mr. Brown, but judging by the spat at the most recent Mayoral Debate at Trinity United Church of Crist, these candidates could provide more drama than any of Perry’s actors.

Coming this February a tale of love, heartbreak, deceit, and jealousy starring Rahm Emanuel, Carol Mosely Braun, Gery Chico, Miguel Del Valle, Patricia Van Pelt Watkins, Bill Clinton, Richard Daley, and Jesse Jackson (don’t worry, nobody’s phallus will be cut off in this film).  Please be aware that some of the content may be unsuitable for children. There will be many drug references, foul language, and violence.

Themes:

Love & Deceit

Apparently the Southside Black community was in love with Bill Clinton until he endorsed Rahm Emanuel. How could a man who loved fried foods and blues so much throw his support behind a non-black candidate? How could such a sweet saxaphone player turn his back on the very community that reinvented blues?

Jealousy

Some people just don’t know how to wait their turn. Even though it has taken 21 years (Richard M. Daley assumed office on April 24, 1989) people should just understand that only one Black person can be in the race. It is obvious that having more than one Black candidate on the ballot will confuse voters (obvisouly there has never been 2 white candidates on the same ballot). Who will the Black community decide to represent ALL of their interests? There will be more backstabbing than a Jersey Shore episode.

Drama

Watch Rahm Emanuel sit in a windowless room while getting grilled by angry Chicagoans for hours. Will he allow his temper to get the best of him or save his colorful language for after the hearing?

Get ready for an action packed drama that will leave you on the edge of your seat or edge of your pew. I present to you Politics and Playa Hatas: The Windy City Edition

Carol Moseley Braun vs. Patricia Van Pelt Watkins

Rahm Emanuel vs. the People of Chicago

Gery Chico vs. Rahm Emanuel

*Please understand that this is a satirical piece written to be thought provoking and provide laughter, so save the drama for your mama.

If you’d like to read more of my commentary follow me on twitter.com/edwardjames3