For the Colored Transgender Person Who Has Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Backfires

Hi, My name is Jonathan, and I use masculine gender pronouns like “he” or “him” to express my identity.

I have far too often taken for granted how easy it is and how privileged I am to be able freely express my gender without constant repression or ridicule. I think privilege has to be one of the most complicated themes of my life. I can be marginalized one day on the basis of my race and sexuality and on that very same day I can receive benefits on the basis of being a man and my gender expression. I am both routinely and simultaneously forced to recognize my privilege while coming to terms with my lack of privilege.

We have been of no assistance.

We, us who benefit from birthrights and silver spoons.

We have been loved “assiduously”

for centuries and still today

we reap the benefits of stolen lands

that were snatched from the

weathered hands that it belonged to,

to begin with.

We have been of no assistance,

to gender-queer individuals

who have 3 shades of makeup,

5 judgment glances,

and 11 thoughts of suicide per day

depending on if the weather

isn’t too cold outside to offer a warm smile.

They have carried burdens of acceptance for centuries

without any assistance of guidance from us,

and all we offer in the end is our cynical opinion.

“this note is attached to a plant

i’ve been waterin since the day i met you

you may water it your damn self”

I saw that Keith Boykins is coming out with a new book, and even though I would be considered apart of the constituency that the book is trying to reach, this blog is a reflection is what a book should really be written on. What happens when the LGBQ community itself is also “of no assistance” to a transgender community? What happens when gay rights, stop at gay rights? What happens when the rainbow backfires?  I think Keith’s book is one that is needed, but I cannot help a kindling fear inside of me that is noticing a subgroup within a larger group being forgotten. Please, let’s be of some assistance.