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NEWS FLASH: Rick Perry Kills ‘em With Crazy, Slavery: The Game, And Mos Def’s Name Change

September 8, 2011

So that crazy, ragtag squad of Republican Presidential Candidates actually debated last night. And we live-tweeted the whole thing. And it was hilarious. And the media seems to have chosen Rick Perry as the night’s clear victor, which is even more hilarious.

Perry’s unique brand of crazy was in full force last night; like when he somehow blamed the Federal Government for the fact that 1 in 4 residents of his state (Texas) are uninsured. Or when Perry essentially called President Obama an “abject liar.” Or how about when the audience responded to the fact that Perry has had 250+ people executed…with wild applause? Yes, Perry was the clear winner. The losers? I don’t know, Santorum? You? Me? The world? Time will tell….

In other distressing news, we’ve got an exciting new video game for all you gamers out there. How do you feel about Slavery: The Game? You can buy, sell, exploit and beat your slaves. You can even choose a weapon of choice, including a rifle, a whip, and maybe even a spiked club.

Excited? I didn’t think so. And if this sounds too utterly repulsive and sickening to be true, you’re probably right. Word on the internet is that it’s a hoax.

Shaunie O’Neal, producer-extraordinaire of that hyper-addictive VH1 shitshow called Basketball Wives, is finally seeing show-related ire turn from Tami’s ugly weaves, and quick left jab, to herself. In the wake of a recent episode of the series’ LA spinoff, celebs and fans went off on twitter, condemning Shaunie for exploiting the wives, setting a terrible example for young Black women, and using shady business practices. Even Sherry Shepherd got into the fray. And while they make some good points, is it really Shaunie’s fault that the women on this show can’t keep their hands to themselves?

This past January, during a Martin Luther King Jr. Day parade in Spokane,WA, a homemade bomb was found inside of a backpack that had been strategically placed on a park bench along the parade route. It was a horrifying development at what should have been a peaceful, joyous day, and fortunately for all of us, the man behind this horrible act is being brought to justice. 37 year-old Kevin Harpham has pled guilty to charges related to the bomb planting, and he’s expected to spend 27-32 years in prison. GOOD.

And in case you haven’t heard already, Mos Def is seriously changing his name to Yasiin. And I guess that’s cool, but I’m a little disappointed. There are just so many other rappers in serious need of a name change. Like Baby or OJ Da Juiceman, for example. And I kinda liked the name Mos Def. Check out the classic Mos Def…err, Yasiin video for “Umi Says” below….

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsihHoyqwWY