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What Parents Don’t Know About the “College Experience”

People will tell you two things when they send you off to college: study hard and have fun. We have some concept of studying hard, but the other piece of advice, you will soon realize, comes across very vaguely. I didn’t grasp why “fun” has a unique meaning at school until I figured out that, at college, starting a sex life is like opening a bank account. Among being the space to cultivate a career-ready individuals, college juxtaposes an environment to truly experiment with everything! It’s the beginning of the semester so I thought I’d give freshman, or anyone interested in going to college, a head start by sharing some stories of mine.

A school organization hosted a fashion show, in which a model wore an outfit that made her breasts visible. There was much flack about whether it was intentional or a malfunction, but regardless, the situation imprinted adulthood on my experience. I’ve been to student-run fashion shows in high school, yet none of those established an ambience of competition and creativity as severe.

Throughout my teenage years I’ve gone to various juke parties; for those not from Chicago, these are parties where young adults dance in a way that simulate sexual positions, namely doggy-style. My craziest experiences back home could not compare to the party dancing at a club near campus. It was the first time I saw two people dance all night, with the guy sitting in a chair and a womyn facing him and sitting on his lap grinding.

My roommate got so drunk one night that he threw a bottle into a car. Our school is in Philly, which is pretty rough, especially up north. Anyway, it turns out that cops were near and he outran them while drunk and high.

Once, I had sex with a girl whose boyfriend lived down the hall. She planned the whole thing out. Later in the year, we started fooling around in the library—her boyfriend’s proximity limited our space—and a week after that, the school paper produced an article about sex in the book stacks.

You may have your first scandal in college. I know a girl that had relations with 3 guys in her organization. The funny, but pitiful thing is that they know about each other and play games with the predicament. For instance, they try to figure out what day they each have with her: A smashed Monday, B had Tuesday, C got it in on Wednesday, so who will she pick for Thursday. It’s all a joke.