You feel offended because you think the movie promotes a lack of understanding of people like your mother. Well, I applaud it because I think it does the opposite. That your mother was able to rise above the pressures of her life and raise independent daughters is a testament to her strength. She’s not Mary, and that’s a good thing. When you make a movie about your mama, you can present her in golden robes if you want. But I’m grateful somebody finally decided to shine a light on THIS mama. Not everybody is Florida Evans.

Most people assume, a mother is a nurturing soul with a bond like no other. When Mary describes Precious being molested for the first time that’s when I realized I could relate to Precious and Mary on so many levels. While my mother, Jahree did not allow men to sexual abuse/rape me right before her eyes… she is as guilty as Mary.

My childhood was like a sentence to death row and my so call mother was right there ready, willing and able to permeate my body with the lethal injection. When I was 12 yrs old, I went to the swimming pool without my mom’s permission and my mom beat me with two extension cords twisted together as soon as I walked in the door. I was able to explain the digital penetration that I had endured at the hands of my neighbor in the pool. I almost drown because this grown man molested me for no reason. Then there was the attempted rape by my cousin and my mom saw him viciously attack me with a broom. She told my him, “boy that’s your cousin.” There were so many incidents as a child that I felt unloved by my mom.

While I thought the movie, Precious could have been better, I commend Monique for making the whole story come to life.

I heard Oprah say there is a Precious in all of us. Oprah, are you really an educated billionaire? Not all women can relate to Clareece “Precious” Jones, Queen Latifah, Monique, Teri Hatcher, Oprah, Gabrielle Union and I, we are survivors of sexual abuse and/or rape. I did not want to see the movie and if this story is loosely based on true events than it is unfathomable for most but was not as bad (of a rape) as I expected it to be. Whoopi this is definitely RAPE, RAPE…

And even after reading your review and conceding some valid points that you make, I still can’t feel anything for the mother. Here’s my problem with it all…

I get it, people who are abused, then abuse others. Maybe Mary was abused herself. Clearly the bf yelled at her to “shut her fat mouth” when she asked why he would do this to her baby? … but i still can’t ACCEPT it and will never get it.

if someone hurts me…if I live through pain, day in and day out…then WHY would i do it to another??? why would i inflict the pain on someone else that i know deep in my heart… only a very very sick person does.

The cycle NEEDs to be stopped. Mary SHOULD have rose up and DIED before she let any man RAPE her daughter…. the fact that she then becomes “jealous” and proceeds to molest her daughter….this further makes me want to vomit…

another problem i have with all this drama is not EVERY PERSON WHO IS ON WELFARE IS A SCAM SEEKING person. Some people, black, white, hispanic, native american, you name it….just freaken NEED the HELP! yeah there’s some people who live in cycles and cycles of welfare and perpetuate the generations of dependence but just b/c you’re on welfare DOES NOT MEAN you were RAPED by your father/mother/brother/uncle ect… OR are ILLITERATE.

So, although I do see where you’re coming from when you speak to Mary’s plight, but even then…I can’t understand why she wouldnt STAND UP and break the cycle. AS a mother you take on an innocent life that depends on you and looks to you for love, support, guidance, and most important SAFETY…. Mary is JUST AS BAD or even WORSE than the father b/c she not only allowed it but further engaged in it….

This movie really made me sick. I just couldnt bare to watch it again. AMEN for the freaken homosexual teacher and AMEN for the socail worker….and AMEN for nurse john…the only positive male character in the movie…

STOP THE EXCUSES. STOP FEELING SORRY FOR people who PERPETUATE the abuse.

BREAK THE CYCLE! It has to start with someone.

I didn’t at all categorize Mary as a “typical black welfare mother.” I saw her as a human being, a very complex human being, with her own motivations, desires and regrets. Even before the last scene in the welfare office, I saw her jealousy towards Precious as very human, her bitterness at the way her life had turnd out as very human (HOW many people do you know who are bitter at the way their life turned out)?, her self-loathing, as very universal. I saw her behavior as desparate and sad, but I didn’t see her as a monster. I knew there were reasons that she acted the way she did.

I think we forget that. Mary finding out about Precious’ acceptance to another school and her subsequent rage … we’ve all known people (maybe even ourselves!) who have wanted to drag down other people when they start to become successful, because it reminds us of our own failings, our own choices in life. Malice is often the result of finding out someone’s life is better, or going to be better, than our own. Women especially can be very competitive and cruel to one another, nearly destroying one another when it comes to competing over a man.

Why do we insist that Mary should have been a better person, that protest at how badly she was protrayed? The world is full of messed-up people and I think it’s OK to show that. I think the lesson I took away from the movie was, “Be careful. That could be you, if you betray yourself and your own inner voice of what’s right and wrong. That could be you, if you don’t keep progressing and following your dreams.” I did NOT think, “That could be me, if I were a black welfare woman living in the 80s, and grew up in an oppressive society.”

If there were any larger themes in the movie that really spoke to me, they were WOMEN’s issues in society, and the horrible ways we treat ourselves and each other, much more than questions of race (although I’m not ignoring the fact that race and gender issues are interlinked, and that being a black woman in America is basically two strikes against you, socially).

The BIGGEST woman’s issue in the movie is Mary’s motivation in being willing to do anything to keep a man around. It’s such a common problem among women of all races and backgrounds, and in the movie, resulted in so much evil, to Mary, and to Precious. What if Mary had refused to put up with her boyfriend’s behavior, and been able to “sacrifice” leaving her man to spare Precious, as she ironically told Precious real women “sacrifice”? I have just watched my white, middle-class, beautiful, talented, amazing friend let herself be treated horribly and verbally abused by a man for five years because she was afraid of being alone, and she felt she needed the validation of a man. It was the result of her own lack of self-esteem, and I see Mary the same way, especially by the end of the movie … no self-esteem. Not putting herself and her child’s needs first, above her need for a man. I think THIS is the element of the movie that needs to be discussed the most … why do women let themselves be treated like trash for the approval of a man? Why are we so insecure? What does society teach us about ourselves, and our need for false dependence on a man even though we are autonomous beings, that makes these things happen?

If I saw Mary as the victim of anything, and NOT responsible for her own actions, it was her insecurity. To be SO insecure that you would let a man rape your daughter in front of you, so you wouldn’t lose him???! Who taught her that she was inferior, that she wasn’t beautiful, that she was worthless? THAT was larger, patriarchal, and yes, white society … that was the only place where I really noted the larger social issues going on with her.

I think the last welfare-office scene shows Mary knew what she had let happen to Precious was deeply wrong, and had known all along. Guilt does strange things to us. Guilt can make us self-implode with loathing; guilt can make our already initital self-hatred grow worse … can cause us to lash out and hurt the people around us … can cause us to justify the most horrendous acts by making ourselves out to be a victim … a common behavior of abusive people. At their heart, abusive people are insecure and deflect blame onto others. Of course Mary’s case of blaming the Precious for her own abuse was extreme, but how else could she face the guilt of what she let happen to Precious?

I feel like the movie does not approve of Mary’s behavior, but makes us question her behavior. That’s what made this movie brilliant … many, many women engage in this behavior or have observed it in other women, and most women can relate to Mary’s character.

As a small aside, I totally didn’t notice the skin-color issue. Precious has the darkest skin in the movie and she is the strongest woman in the movie, in my opinion. Even her lighter-skinner teacher marvels at her. Precious’ mother also has lighter skin than Precious, about the same color as the social worker who comes to visit them at their house, and Blu Rain’s girlfriend. And Precious’ mother is one of the weakest characters in the movie.

The only thing I noticed about Blu Rain that seemed stereotypical to me is that her beauty (features, hairstyle, even the shape of her face) and clothing did seem more mainstream, “white” America … even more noticeable to me than the fact that her skin is very light. I would have noticed these things about her if her skin were as dark as Precious’s.

I know it’s important to discuss issues of race in movies and literature, which are all around us, and I’m glad for the posts here that made me think. But I think it’s important to look at this movie not just as a platform for race issues, but for women of all races, and as holding messages that are universal for all human beings.