Fallon

I am a woman in search of hope.

Posts by Fallon

Women’s Her-story Month: A tribute to Old Black Women Healers

Friday, March 5, 2010 at 9:06 am

The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.

–Maya Angelou

So, how do you make a little black girl believe that all she has gone through does not determine her ability to take flight? How do you “teach” her that her wings are beautiful and that the risk of flying is a marvelous growth enriching endeavor? How do you make her see that her cadged song and flight will one day inspire others to freedom? How do you “teach” a black girl to fly?

You see, it’s not an easy endeavor because so many things seek to clip their wings, silence their voice, and keep them cadged. It takes a special kind of spiritual intervention to release little black birds. It is not a task for the faint of heart or for those who benevolently (i.e. good white women) “swoop” in to save de Negro children from the pathology of their colored communities. Hmmmm . . . it is a task well suited for wise black women like Baby Suggs in Beloved who said, “Yonder they do not love your flesh. They despise it . . . No more do they love the skin on your back. Yonder they flay it. And O my people they do not love your hands. Those they only use, tie, bind, chop off and leave empty. Love your hands . . . You got to love it,” and Minnie Ransom in The Salt Eaters who said, “Are you sure, sweetheart, that you want to be well? Just so’s you’re sure, sweetheart, and ready to be healed, cause wholeness is no trifling matter. A lot of weight when you’re well,” and my 8th grade colored school teacher, Mrs. LaVern Colvin, who said, “Now listen here, Fallon, if you do not know by now how much I love you . . . you will never know, dearie.”

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Tavis Smiley and Al Sharpton: The Street Fight Edition who will wear the Hood Crown

Friday, February 26, 2010 at 2:53 pm

Some of you are wondering what this word “prognosticator” means. Well, I’m glad you asked young grass hopper. Webster defines it as someone who predicts the future or as someone who speaks powerful insights. Perhaps, at one point Tavis Smiley and Al Sharpton spoke powerful insights on behalf of Black communities. Of course, this was before corporate sponsorship took over State of the Black Union and before Al launched his media blitzed hunger campaigns. However, they like so many other self-appointed black male leaders are more invested in waving their third arm when their ego is being challenged by another third arm waving black brother. Just in case you’re unsure what the third arm is it’s something that is strengthened by the use of Viagra. Get in? If you don’t get it please email me and I will share with you the correct anatomy name.

Well, I am sure many of you have heard by now that Tavis Smiley and Al Sharpton are fueling an old school bring your boys to the playground West side story brawl where Tavis is banking on Michael Eric Dyson’s academic hip hop lyrical flow to mesmerize Al’s crew while Tom Joyner and Tavis launch a sneak attack on Charles Olgetree and Bill Cosby by throwing a piece of pound cake.  I know this may sound outlandish, but the level of argument between Tavis and Al makes you wonder what a fight would look like between all the black male intellectuals and all the black male political leaders that profess to speak on behalf of Black communities while padding their pockets with various corporate interests. Read more »

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Why I like Nicki Minaj: No Haters Allowed!!!

Friday, February 19, 2010 at 7:50 am

So, this last Halloween I dressed up as . . . . (drum roll please) . . . Nicki Minaj also known as Nicki Lewinski also known as Nicki the Ninja also known as Nicki the Harajuku Barbi. (Yep, if you leave a comment requesting my Halloween picture I may post it). Yes, I, the self-identified black feminist, dressed up as a black female rapper. And not any black female rapper, but Nicki Minaj who is signed with Lil’ Wayne’s Young Money Crew. Now the question is how did I stumble upon Nicki Minaj? Well, I am glad you asked. I happen to be watching 106th and Park and Gucci Mane’s 5 Star Bitch came on. Of course, I was thinking to myself what is a five star bitch? And why do the girls have to be called  bitches?

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John Mayer, White Haitian “Kidnappers,” Cannibals, and Lemons: What they got in common?

Friday, February 12, 2010 at 11:05 am

So, I know most people at this very moment are rushing out to buy their new E-Harmony’s match cheap flowers from the local CVS to celebrate the most godforsaken downright anti-single holiday of the calendar year, Valentine’s Day. Yeah, to say the least I hate Valentine’s Day because it’s makes single women irrespective of sexuality feel like shit fresh dog pooh. Anyways, this blog is not about Valentine’s Day, I just wanted to go on record for saying how much I hate Valentine’s Day.

Well, this blog is about white supremacy, the threat of scarcity, and how it shapes the white imagination. It’s about what white people do when they lose or think that they will lose their privileges and entitlements. It is about how they deal with not having over and abundant resources and legal recourses. It is about what happens when they are only given lemons—no sugar, no glass pitcher, no spoon, no refrigerator, no knife—to make lemonade. So, the question is, how do they survive without their white privilege or with the perception of loss white privilege?

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Vanity Fair’s Racism Sings: Don’t Cha Wish You Were White Girl Like Me. Don’t Cha.

Friday, February 5, 2010 at 9:13 am

Cover Girls March 2010

“Mirror . . . mirror on the wall who the fairest of them all?” In most fairytales, the mirror would reply, “Snow white is the fairest of them all.” However, in the case of Vanity Fair’s March cover, the names are Abbie Cornish, Kristen Stewart, Carey Mulligan, Amanda Seyfried, Rebecca Hall, Mia Wasikowska, Emma Stone, Evan Rachel Wood, and Anna Kendrick . . . all up incoming young white Hollywood actresses. According to Shine’s writer, Joanna Douglass,

Vanity Fair writer Evgenia Peretz calls out the young cover stars by their best attributes: “downy-soft cheeks,” “button nose,” “patrician looks and celebrated pedigree,” “dewy, wide-eyed loveliness,” “Ivory-soap-girl features.”

Clearly, Evgenia Peretz has over-dosed on the proverbial white supremacist poisoned apple. I know what you’re thinking. Do such apples exist? Yes, they do just ask Pat Robertson what he thinks about Haiti or ask the producer and director of Couples Retreat about taking the black comedian, Faizon Love, off the European posters.

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The State of their Union: What’s Love got to do with it Michelle Obama?

Friday, January 29, 2010 at 10:27 am

So, I watched President Barack Obama give his second State of the Union Address and felt totally dejected like a pimply teenage girl who’s searching find her identity. 2010-01-28-michelleobamastateoftheunioYep, to say the least the speech did feel quite underwhelming and non-surprising . . . “we’re going to [fill in the blank with your best conception of democracy]” knowing that the actual end result will not liberate the many inequalities communities of color endure. Therefore, I turned my attention to the First Lady, Michelle Obama, who was dressed in a very conservative plum dress that seemed more reminiscent of a Stepford wife than a woman who was Vice President of Community and External Affairs at the University of Chicago.

But, let it be known, Michelle Obama could have had on paper sack and I would still be a Michelle Obama’s groupie because she’s from the south side of Chicago and because in some ways she reminds me of the many black women school teachers who have enriched my life by saying among many things, “Baby, you got legs. Walk,” which is why I hate for white women to call her Mrs. O.

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When You Fall In Love?

Friday, January 22, 2010 at 10:38 am

When I fall in love it will be forever
Or I
ll never fall in love
In a restless world like this is
Love is ended before it
s begun
And too many moonlight kisses
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun

When I give my heart it will be completely
Or I
ll never give my heart
And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too
Is when I fall in love with you.

—Written and Composed by Nat King Cole—

How do you know when you’re in love? How do you know if the person who’s holding your hand speaks the thump, thump, (skip a beat) thump language of your heart? Do they exude the rhythmic and vocal complexities of Ella Fitzgerald and Louie Armstrong crooning “Baby, its Cold Outside?” Or is it more like Jordan Sparks’ and Chris Brown’s ballad[ized] (yes, I made up a word) “I can’t breathe without you . . . no air?” Or is it more like falling into Kurt Ellings’ Leaving Again, In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning.

Furthermore, what are the tell tale signs of someone in love? Do they visit their beloved Facebook’s profile during the day just wanting to see a picture of them knowing that if the relationship ever ended and Facebook decided to be “gangster” listing how many times people visit their friends’ profile, they would appear to be cyber-stalkers? Or, is it when she is up in the wee morning hours trying to write a blog about a new study published in the International Journal of Obesity detailing how fat around the thighs and derriere area are great health benefits only to find that she’s unable to focus on writing her piece because she has just realized that she has fallen in love with someone who she is no longer in relationship with? Perhaps, it’s all these things give or take a long endearing walk in the park at twilight or a nearly silent hand embrace as your beloved drives.

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Some Natural Disasters are not so Natural, but Vodou (Spirit) will Prevail

Thursday, January 14, 2010 at 8:53 pm

Can’t no one know at sunrise how this day is going to end. Cant’ no one know at sunset if the next day will be here. In this world of trouble and wars a member must be ready to go. We look forward to things to save us but in a twinkling of an eye everything can be changed. Troubles of this world feel our heart with wage from Soweto to Stonewall, Birmingham to LA. We searching for hope that lie within ourselves as we fight against misogyny, racism, hatred, and pain. Can’t no one know at sunrise how this day is going to end. Cant’ no one know at sunset if the next day will be here**

—Sweet Honey in the Rock, Spiritual

I begin this post with a song written by Sweet Honey in the Rock because its title and lyrics invoke Spirit and Spirits. Furthermore, the song weeps and wails not only of troubles, but of justice, “justice that rolls down like water, and righteousness like a mighty stream.” It lets us know that the way of the world is not as predetermined as governments, private contractors, and multinational corporations believe it to be because Spirit and Spirits “can change some things” as the old people say. So, as we stand on the eve of remembering not only Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and all the Spirits that joined the movement for freedom in the US, I write this blog to acknowledge the power of Spirit and Spirits to deal with the injustices of what has happened and continue to happen in the country of Haiti.

This week I’ve read many articles and blogs about the devastation and abject poverty in Haiti and how international loan agencies and governments like the US (i.e. World Bank and the International Monetary Fund) have benefited greatly by keeping Haiti in debt. I’ve seen Christian fundamentalist like Pat Robertson say vicious anti-Christ love statements like, “[ the earthquake is] a blessing in disguise . . . [Haiti] made a pact with the Devil in order to liberate themselves from French rule [therefore they deserve what is happening].” Oh, this sounds very familiar to his statements about Hurricane Katrina. Furthermore, I’ve watched as CNN’s pundits contort their mouths and faces to convey the inevitability of rioting and looting saying with Hurricane Katrina’s conviction, “We heard gun shots.” In addition to all of this, I’ve read some of Naomi Klein’s The Shock Doctrine: the Rise of Disaster Capitalism and I’m left feeling completely hopeless about the long-term fate of Haiti being left vulnerable to the free market’s social experiments. Yes, my heart grieves.

But, as the song says, “Can’t no one know at sunrise how this day is going to end. Can’t no one know at sunset if the next day will be here,” there is hope because there is Spirit and Spirits. For me Spirit and Spirits represent faith-based practices/rituals, spiritualities, religions, justice, transformative collective action, community, Love, and all the things that have “brought us this far a mighty long way” as my Sunday school teacher would say. Spirit and Spirits are the things that allow me to wake up each morning with a renewed belief that the world can change and that I have the ability to change the world.

And for some people of Haiti Vodou is their Spirit and it also was their collective frame for mobilizing against French enslavement and other forms of oppression. Though I am not fully familiar with the practice of Vodou, I do understand the power of believing in something bigger then yourself and something that embodies community, love, and justice. I know I am sounding a little sermonic, but my intent is not to preach. I just need to know that there is something more than greed, capitalism, and hegemonic power structuring the world and the only place I can surmise where this may be the case is in the Spirit and within the Spirits of people. It is in the faith-based, spiritual, and communal practices that preach love, justice, and community that challenge us to envision and create a world of collective peace.

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The First Step is Acknowledgement: I Have Class Privilege

Sunday, January 10, 2010 at 4:18 pm

Aloha . . . Mahalo . . . Hula . . . Hana Hou . . . are a few Hawaiian words I’ve learned this week while visiting Hawaii. You know, I think Hawaii is the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen with its luscious green mountains and its sparkling blue beaches. There is something special about this place that makes me want to be less troll-like to people who attempt to break my camel’s back or who attempt to pull my last nerve. Indeed, Hawaii is a special place. Perhaps, it has something to do with the bounty of green vegetation that encircles the island. And given that I grew up in an inner city, went to school in an inner city, and probably will die in an inner city, seeing the abundance of fauna and flora is simultaneously breathtaking and a little disturbing as well.

Breathtaking for all the reasons listed above. But disturbing because I seem to be allergic to Mother Nature and of course I have capitalism, pollution, and chemically enriched foods to thank for all of this. Furthermore, seeing all the vegetation and the beauty of Hawaii is equally unsettling because it reminds me of how privileged I am and how many in my immediate biological family will never be able to visit the land of Hawaii because they do not have the funds and/or time to do so.

Yep, you’ve guessed it this blog is not about Hawaii per se, but more about my inner turmoil with dealing with my increasing class privilege. I know the phrase “inner turmoil” seems a tad bit dramatic, but it’s the best phrase I can conjure up to use while struggling with jet lag. Also, Hawaii is a metaphor for talking about privilege. Well, even though my going to Hawaii was based on my services of being a part-time grad school nanny. It still feels like a privileged state because I did not have to pay for anything. Furthermore, the child was extremely well-behaved and I had an abundance of time to explore Hawaii. So, to say the least I felt inner turmoil about being in Hawaii when so many in my family struggles to keep their heads above water.

Recently, my mother told me she and my two younger siblings will have to move yet again because of a faulty housing agreement. This will make the fifth time they have moved in the last five years. Of course, my mother told me not to worry about her because she’s a hustler, but I can’t stop worrying about her and the need for my younger brother and sister to have a stable place to lay their heads. In addition to this, my older sister is continuously in and out of the hospital because her insurance–which she got only a year ago after working at the job for two years–does not provide her with the best doctors to ensure correct diagnoses. And these examples of hardships are just the tip of the iceberg.

In response to me telling people I have “inner turmoil” about my class privilege, they say, “Well, you’ve made the right decisions in life. You’ve worked hard in school and so you deserve to have.” There is something unsavory about their response because they assume I’ve made the right decisions at every moment of my life and that if you make one bad decision than you are forever doomed to be poor living pay check to pay check.

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It’s 2010, Happy New Year!!

Friday, January 1, 2010 at 10:04 am

Happy New Year! Wow, can you believe its 2010? Another decade ending which for me is a little exciting and a little worrisome because its means I am getting older and more cynical. I realize that I cannot go to a movie like Avatar and not see how the white’s imagination pictures itself as both conqueror and savior. And of course for the multinational corporation in the movie Avatar conquering was an act of saving the “blue monkeys, (i.e. the indigenous people in Avatar) from their non-technological inferior people of color ways. To put it simply, I hated the movie. It ain’t original just watch any movie by Mel Gibson or Tom Cruise.

Once again, perhaps, this is a sign of me getting older and more cynical. And as the decades roll by 2020, 2030, 2040, 2050, 2060, and 2070 I will become increasingly like the Biblical prophet Jeremiah who proclaimed destruction upon the heads of the children of Israel for disobeying God. Hey, I can see myself waving my cane warning of impending destruction because of capitalistic desires. Well, let me not be a cynic today on the first day of 2010. I hope everyone New Year is blessed with family and friends.

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